Matt Smallbone

Stay cool mum and dad…

I was on a plane the other day and I experienced some of the worst parenting ever. EVER…

It was 10pm and this two-year old girl was completely over-tired. (If you are not a parent… two-year olds are crazy 80% of the time). The mother was also at the end of her rope, and she tried to manage her embarrassment by chastising her daughter in an angry tone at the top of her voice. I think that she (mum) thought that she was doing us all a favor by her efforts.

It was horrible.

The low-light was the threat of a spanking with the Delta Magazine.

Here is my take on all of this….

Firstly, everyone knows that traveling with kids is the last thing anyone wants to do. Your job as a parent is to stay calm. All kids want a ‘cool parent’. Not the ‘I wear the latest style of crop-top cool parent’, but a parent who can stay calm even when the child is spinning out of control.

Secondly, before you get on the plane you need to be emotionally prepared for a terrible time. Never be surprised by a naughty child. Children get sore ears and they can’t move. I try to keep my expectations at a point where they have already been met. I am usually therefore positively surprised when it isn’t an absolute train wreck.

Thirdly… have some plans in place. One of my favorite moves is to take a mid-tantrum child to the bathroom where we wait it out together. You also should also try to take them for a walk every now and then.

Finally… pack your laptop, video I-pod AND headphones (that the kids are used to). Let them watch their favorite movie. We also pack coloring books.

But mostly… stay cool mum and dad… everyone around you feels sorry for you. The 1-percent of people who are cut by being placed beside a crying child in economy class just need to get over it. That type of person has no real friends anyway. They are selfish and ignorant.

Any more advice?

Happy flying.

The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music “except country”. People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time. Chuck Klosterman.

No one is allowed to say what they think any more. Those who do (e.g. Fox news anchors) are labeled as bigots. As teenagers, most of us learn how to say the right thing at the right time to avoid social conflict.

Our ability to discern the disingenuous has eroded. Liquor marketing firms ask us to ‘drink responsibly’, and we accept it at face value!

Our culture stopped embracing ultimate truth a while ago, and it is affecting the core-strength of the family. At that point, I become emotionally involved.

I live in a town where everyone has moved here to ‘make it’ (myself included). I hang with musicians whose families are struggling because Dad believes that he is one step away from the big time. Mum has three jobs, three kids, and dad (in his mid to late 30s) gets up when the sun is warm and tweaks his MySpace.

The problem lies in the fact that there are plenty of folk in Nashville who just don’t have the ability to keep up. Every now and then the sun shines on a no-hoper (this is my story*), but as a general rule it’s only the cream that rises.

Unfortunately, no one has ever had the heart to tell these poor souls that, “Bro, maybe you really should consider University. Being a teacher is awesome”.

Rather the music community has learned to say things like, ‘Dude, great tone’ to a guy who doesn’t understand what a minor third is.

I have met a number of people (usually men) who have great tone… but are in crumbling marriages because they won’t man up and get a real job.

It’s time that we stopped this madness.

I am not suggesting that we start telling children what they can and can’t dream to be … but I believe that when the pivotal moments come in a person’s life, if you have their ear, it is important that you are a messenger of truth. You might even save a marriage. At the very least, you will have encouraged someone to choose a path in life in which they can truly be exceptional.

We should all be exceptional. We were created for that… but we need to make honest assessments to get there.

* I am working on  a blog about how this happened. Stay tuned.